Dum, Dah Dum Dum Dum, I've broken Commandment 6 of the 10 commandments-it's official, I'm a fly killer! I suddenly feel the need to walk you through my latest fly killing because killing this particularly pesky fly took an actual process that I feel merits retelling!
Fly sighting: My roommate started screaming because she saw a fly crawling across my bedroom door and I started shouting then because we both didn't know how to get it to stand still long enough for one of us to kill it and then the fly went out of the room and we couldn't find it.
1st Attempted Solution: My roommate does this thing where she covers her mouth (so the fly doesn't fly into it) and runs around the space where the fly was sighted (in this case the whole apartment) . Her theory is by running around in the "fly's space" she'll scare the fly into coming out. This didn't work but I really wanted it to!
2nd. Attempted solution: I called my parents (as I'm still a firm believer in the idea my parents know the solution to most of life's problems and most of the time they do somehow.) Anyway, when asked what would happen if the fly turned out to be a horsefly and bit me, my dad said that I'd break out in welts all over the place but not to worry, they'd go down in a couple weeks. Then he laughed and told me really not to worry and that if it really bit me which was unlikely, it might swell a bit but it'd go down soon.Then he more constructively told me that I should turn of the light in my room and wait for the fly to come out.
3rd Attempt: (following my dad's advice) Waiting: I finally just sat down and watched TV in the living room for a bit and the fly somehow miraculously appeared and for once I had the fly swatter in my hand and I killed it. Although I don't think I'd chalk it up with some of the good things I've done, and I hope it doesn't mean I've missed my calling as an exterminator (just the name "exterminator" is enough to freak me out.) Anyway, for whatever reason I found a strange sense of accomplishment in killing this one fly. Yes, I know killing is bad and there are probably all these flies who are going to attack me in revenge for their father/brother/son fly I just killed, but frankly my dears, I don't give a damn! So as you can see, I'm truly a perpetual sinner, I kill flies and the worst of it is, I refuse to repent!
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