If I could respond to spam mail...

My e-mail seems to get an inordinate amount of spam. While deleting the latest bunch of the inbox clogging stuff I got to thinking what I'd write if I actually decided to respond to some of these messages. Here are some of the things I might write back, just for the heck of it!

 

- Dear Sir/Madam-While I'm sorry if you're one of the many starving Sudanese refugees I'm still not sending you any of my money! ( Mostly because I don't believe you're a starving refugee as I doubt that refugee camps have enough Internet access for you to write to me!)

-Dear Sir/Madam- While a cruise might be nice, the horror stories I've heard about your company's cruises ( e.g. outbreaks of E. coli, sinkings, people mysteriously going missing etc) have made a land lover out of me. So no I don't want to go on  your discounted cruise.

-Dear Sir/Madam-I'm not a man so I really don't need or want your enhancement products for goodness sakes!

-Dear Sir/Madam- I'm allergic to cats so no I really don't want your year's supply of cat food however inexpensively you might sell it! 

-Dear Sir/Madam- I don't think I want to transform my lips with or without surgery. I think I have a nice smile as it is, thank you very much!